Perhaps you recall having “the talk” with your parents about those cringeworthy pre-teen topics. If you thought that was awkward, brace yourself for talking to parents about care needs in the home! This can be extremely difficult, for a number of reasons:
They could feel threatened and fearful of losing independence and the freedom to make their own choices
They might be in denial that there is a problem at all
Your parents may resent what appears to be a reversal of roles or being told what to do
How can you overcome these very valid feelings to get to a place of acceptance about home care services? Try these tips as a starting point:
Plan the conversation: who will attend, what you will discuss, where you can best talk without distractions.
Think through what it would be like to be in your parents’ shoes and exactly how you would want the conversation to go.
Resolve to remain respectful and calm through the entire discussion, never attempting to parent your parents.
Tune in to your parents’ concerns with an open mind and without preplanned responses.
Realize there might be more than one solution – and, that it often takes more than one conversation to achieve agreement.
Before approaching your parents, practice what you intend to say with a friend you trust to give you truthful feedback. Role-playing is a good strategy to refine your presentation and words and to help you gain confidence.
When you are ready to talk with your parents, be prepared for any outcome. In a perfect world, they will agree with your concerns and be open to having the support of a home care professional. It’s certainly plausible that they share your worries, but were unsure how to broach the topic with you. But likewise be ready for resistance, defensiveness, and perhaps even anger.
If talking to parents about care is leading to heightened emotions and you’re reaching an impasse, pause the conversation and try again later. It could be beneficial to include someone your parents respect and trust in a future conversation, for example, a close friend or medical professional.
When you’re ready to explore home care options for your parents, contact The Care Company. We can start out with minimal support, such as meals, transportation, or light housekeeping, and slowly work up to more care once your parent feels comfortable with their caregiver.
We know how difficult it can be for someone to admit the need for assistance at home. Our goal is always to foster an atmosphere of independence in which each individual in our care remains as much in control of each of life’s decisions as possible. You can connect with us online 24/7 or call us at (416) 422-2273 for more information on our highly customized home care services in Toronto.